Your Love Makes It Worth it All

This was written January 17, 2009 - Saturday - myspace/facebook
This looks SERIOUSLY LONG. REALLY REALLY LONG. But if you read it, I dont know, I think you'll be happy if you did. I think it's worth it. Maybe... lol. it depends on who you are.
But its really not that long.
I wanted it to read a little differently than it does, but oh well. It's okay. :-) It's a little choppier than I wanted it to be. I just get so stinkin excited!


Wow God is amazing. I just want to say one thing. If you don't get anything out of this except for one thing, I hope it's that GOD IS FAITHFUL AND HE HAS PROVEN HIMSELF FAITHFUL TO ME!!!
HE IS THE MOST FAITHFUL GOD!! I GUARANTEE YOU HE HAS BEEN SO FAITHFUL TO YOU!! I GUARANTEE YOU.

This analogy is pretty self-explanatory, so I'm sure you can fill in the blanks and get it in no time, even if I failed to mention some things about it.

[the lyrics that go with this are posted at the very bottom...]

I decided to listen to this song today driving home from Melbourne on 95. I've heard it before but that was either cleaning my room, or driving in the car with other people.
This time I really really heard it. I listened to it with purpose- I wanted to spend the car ride home with Him. and Boy did He ever show Himself Faithful.

First of all, when I was driving home, I got a glance on Wickham heading toward 95 of this big nasty fire cloud in the sky from a fire. And I totally thought it was like, in orlando or something. lol.
And I get on 95, and I start this song. And it's first a song, and then spontaneous at the end. (2 different tracks). And I started it because on the way It began and God just drew my heart in but I was at my destination so I couldn't really listen.
And anyway, I turn a corner on 95 shortly after I get on it. And in the distance, there is that fire. It's HUGE and honestly, it looked like it was on the East side of 95, in titusville, and it looked like all the onimous debris and clouds and smoke were hurling themselves right over 95. Visibility ahead looked ZERO.


Just as I saw this, I got this weird, eerie feeling, and was a little bit scared. But also a little excited to be driving into something like that. Scared, but adventurous. And I was thinking to myself, surely they wouldn't have a controlled burn on that side of 95, blowing right into it. Anyway, just as I saw it, a part in the song came to "No turning back, I've made up my mind, I'm giving all of my life this time..." and then "Your love makes it worth it, Your love makes it worth it all, Your love makes it worth it all..." and I know this sounds way weird and dramatic, but it was just so... weird. How the music, the words, correlated to what I was feeling inside when I saw this giant onimous fire cloud.
As I get closer, the song goes into this WHOLE 10 MINUTE SPONTANEOUS SONG ABOUT FIRE. ABOUT FIRE!!! about His fire and His love being like a fire and all of this!!!!
So I take my sunglasses off because they make everything yellow, and honestly, I could NOT STOP LOOKING AT THAT THING. My eyes were totally drawn to it.

And I'm freaking out.
and it goes, "Oh, I don't have to fear anything
'Cause Your love makes it worth it all, God.."
and then.. I turn a corner and the song is still going strong, you know.. and even though it looked like the fire was on the east side of 95... it was really on the left!!!
I turned the corner and I was so flabbergasted but relieved too, and it was blowing itself away from 95. and as I got closer, all this brush beside 95 had been a little scorched (controlled burn)...
So it continues, and as I get closer, these white birds are seriously swarming and swarming and twirling around the woods, and in the background is that pitch black fire smoke cloud. and I don't know if you have ever seen white birds flying around with a thunderstorm looming in the distance, but honestly, I think that is SO beautiful. Ha, and then the song is like, "do you dare, do you dare do you dare look into the flames of love" haha...

So, it ended up being on the other side of 95, and the pathway of 95 was completely blue and clear. SO BEAUTIFUL. and as I got closer, I ended up right next to it, I'd say it was only a couple miles from 95. But as I got closer and almost exactly parrellel, at least to the smoke and stuff, the sun disappeared. You could see the haze of it, but the smoke was all yellow and black.
And I was like, man, what a sight!!!
And I was like wow, the sun is hidden.
(As I got right next to the fire, the song goes,"those flames are a consuming fire.." over and over and over again.

As I got past the fire, I look over and see the SUN is right beside me. Clear. No smoke whatsoever surrounding it. And its amazing in all its brilliance.
It's funny because on the way down there in the morning, I was almost weeping in the car at the sun. Just how He made it and how He thought of US and He keeps us here, and how He spoke it all into existence and how in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
And so JOY was filled within me because the sun was SO BEAUTIFUL after I saw it in the smoke and fiery haze, and then outside of it with the flames looming in the distance.

and then, about at the port st john exit, I turned my head and looked back and guess what it looked like this time?
It looked like the fire was in the middle of the road. It looked like it was smack dab in the middle of I-95. And I LAUGHED.

when I began my journey, I KNEW God was teaching and showing me something through it all.
And I know many can draw many analogies from this, but this is what I got... and it matches me perfectly.

When life comes, and when these wilderness experiences come, and these trials come, and the unexpected happens, you see the road ahead and you see what it looks like and what it APPEARS.. APPEARS to be. And you know you're in for a long huge ride through OMINOUS clouds and you dont know whats ahead but you're frightened but a little bit excited, even if you don't like change all that much, it excites you a little that you know change is coming, because after all, look in the distance, I'm about to go through this unknown smokey gloomy thing up ahead and who knowwwws it might be my house on fire or a gasoline explosion or who knows what!!! and all these things go through your head what you think is on the road and what you think it will be like and you prepare best you can, but lets face it, its here, its now, so what you have with you and on your back is really all you have, and you can't really do anything about it BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY ON YOUR WAY, you're already on the journey.

ohh man.
And when you take that turn where 1/4 of the road is behind you and you can see a little clearer, you can see that wow, its not as bad as I thought, this character building isnt that bad, and I was soo scared but now that I'm here, I WANT what He has for me in this season, who knows, what if I had turned back because of fear??
This isn't so bad. The look of it is still ominous, and the sun is SOO hiding! but you know what, even though there's not an end in sight right now, I know that its going to be okay.

And then when you get up next to it, you start to see the beauty in the pain and in the suffering and in the character building and you see the chaff burning away and the beautiful expressions of HIS character coming out and swirling around all the dingy dirty crap thats come to the surface in this pruning journey.
The sun is hiding, but you know what, the end is in sight and just a little longer to go and you're home free.

And then...
before you know it, you look next to you.. and there is the sun. RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. AND ITS BEEN NEXT TO YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!!!

The SON is RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!!!
and then as the journey of freedom continues, you look back after a little healing time and see WOAH. I WENT THROUGH CRAP! A LOT OF CRAP! A LOT OF CRAZY THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT THROUGH!!! HA! and you LAUGH AT IT even though from hidsight it looks even worse than when you were going into it!! lol.

Wow, this whole revelation was just.. wow.. exactly what I had been through since 2008 began. It was just amazing to see it played out like that and portrayed in such a vivid way.

HE IS AN ALL-CONSUMING FIRE, AND I WANT HIS HEART!! I LONG FOR HIS HEART, HIS CHARACTER, AND YOU KNOW WHAT?? I AM GOING TO GET IT.

And tonight Pastor Roger said something when he was preaching that made me see this in my mind's eye...and I was thinking about my Jesus dying on that cross.. how the grave couldn't hold Him...
that lyric played over and over in my head, "Your love makes it worth it, Your love makes it worth it all, Your love makes it worth it all..."

and I just pictured my Jesus... and it's like He laughs at me, looking at me, thinking how JOYFUL it is that I am here where I'm at because of what He Himself did for me on the cross. He sees me, looks at me, and LAUGHS. HE LAUGHS!!!! As He sees me and looks at me He smiles and is as light as a feather as He sees me in the light of the cross! In the filter of the cross! In the shadow of the CROSS!
And thats when He sings to me, "your love, Lauren, makes it worth it all."
He looks back and HE LAUGHS!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!

THIS IS A LOVE LIKE NO OTHER!

TRIALS ARE AMAZING, and I know thats dangerous to say...
but they are. You don't always say that during them. or before them.
But after, wow, everything will be amazing afterward. Wow.

Embrace what He is taking you through because there is ALWAYS a finish line and you won't be in that season, that trial FOREVER. Embrace times of learning, embrace all He teaches you AND THE WAY HE TEACHES YOU. IT CAN BE SO AMAZING.
even the fear is amazing, in a sort of way!
Wow.

KIM WALKER- "I SURRENDER" AND "SPONTANEOUS IV" (myspace.com/kimwalker. you can also listen to these songs on my myspace as well.)
There is no love sweeter than the love You pour on me
There is no song sweeter than the song You sing to me
There is no place that I would rather be
Than here at Your feet laying down everything

All to You I surrender
Everything, every part of me
All to You I surrender
All of my dreams, all of me

If worship's like perfume, I'll pour my mine out on You
For there is none as deserving of my love like You
So take my hand and draw me into You
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You

All to You I surrender
Everything, every part of me
All to You I surrender
All of my dreams, all of me

Oh, I surrender
Oh, I surrender
Oh, I surrender
Oh, I surrender

No turning back, I've made up my mind
I'm giving all of my life this time
No turning back, I've made up my mind
I'm giving all of my life this time

Your love makes it worth it
Your love makes it worth it all
Your love makes it worth it all

Oh, I don't have to fear anything
'Cause Your love makes it worth it all, God
I can so willingly lay everything down at your feet
'Cause Your love makes it worth it all

This is what we're made for
This is what we're born for
Your love Your love
Your love Your love
Your love Your love

I wanna know it more
I wanna feel it more
I wanna see it more
Oh God, take us in to the Holy Place
Where we see You face to face
and behold Your love
Behold His love
Behold His love
Behold His love

Shining brighter than any star, than any star
Your love is stronger than anything
Your love is bigger, its greater
oh Your love, Your love Your love
Behold His love
Oh look straight into the eyes of love tonight
the flames of love that burn in His eyes
Oh the flames of love that burn in His eyes for you
Oh the flames of love that burn in His eyes


Oh do you dare
Do you dare
Do you dare look into the eyes of love tonight
leaving everything else behind
Oh eyes that burn with the flames of love
Eyes that burn with the flames of love
Eyes that burn with the flames of love
Eyes that burn
Eyes that burn
Eyes that burn

Do you dare
Will you be bold as a lion
and go, go look deep into the eyes of love
will you leave everything behind
to look deep into the eyes of love

Eyes that burn with flames of love
Eyes that burn with flames of love

And those flames are a consuming fire
those flames are a consuming fire
those flames are a consuming fire

they will burn in me
come and burn in me, God
come and burn in me
Oh come and burn

All consuming fire
Come burn in me
Come burn in me

All consuming fire
Our God is an all consuming fire
oh yeah

Come burn in me
come burn in me

For I will be as bold as a lion
i will look straight into the eyes of love and say
come burn in me
come burn in me
come burn in me
all consuming fire
come burn in me
come burn in me

Fire that can't be tamed
Fire that won't be put in a box
fire that won't be contained
fire that won't be put out
an all consuming fire

come burn in me
come burn in me
come burn in me