God Has Heard.

I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning to crawl, I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall. I'm living again, awake and alive, I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies. (Switchfoot, "Learning to Breathe")


It's so crazy to realize you're finally awake and that you've been sleeping for years. And here, I thought I was an "awakened" one.

That line to that song makes me humble. It makes me humble to think that I'm not even crawling, I'm LEARNING to crawl. But I am. And I'm being real. It's hard for me to even post that without thinking about what people might think that means and read into it. But it doesn't matter anymore. I'm living for HIM. Not men. I had begun to, very deeply and subconsciously, let what I thought people were thinking about me change what I thought about myself. More on that later.

These past fiveyears I've fallen to believe a doctrine that said I was better than everyone. I was better than the people in this church and that church, because I didn't cuss, drink, or have sex. I didn't watch bad movies, listen to non-Christian music, and therefore, I had more of God than anyone else, and I would continue to get "more" of God than anyone else. I started thinking my parents' Christianity was something I wanted to move ahead of, go deeper, if you will. Ha. Wow. Hindsight is 20/20. But more on that later.

While I believe it is true that the Lord desires a holy, unspotted temple and that we truly will be different, changed, and live rightly BEFORE GOD (not necessarily men) if we are saved, I do not believe that my behavior means that I have more of God, or even KNOW God. It's spelled out very plainly in the Bible with the pharisees, and other stories, including, well, Jesus flippin' over the tables.

When we are right before God, we will look right before men. But if we look right before men, it doesn't mean we are right before God. I'm sick of men determining salvation. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough. That's what pride does. It ruins you to the point where you think you'll never be good enough. I'm sick of the skewed vision the charismatic movement has of the lost. We hold them to unbearable standards and never bother to lift a finger to ease the burden. (See scripture below)

Luke 11:37-54

Jesus Criticizes the Religious Leaders

³⁷ As Jesus was speaking, one of the Pharisees invited him home for a meal. So he went in and took his place at the table.^{[l] 38} His host was amazed to see that he sat down to eat without first performing the hand-washing ceremony required by Jewish custom. ³⁹ Then the Lord said to him, “You Pharisees are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and wickedness! ⁴⁰ Fools! Didn’t God make the inside as well as the outside? ⁴¹ So clean the inside by giving gifts to the poor, and you will be clean all over.
⁴² “What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens,^[m] but you ignore justice and the love of God. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things.
⁴³ “What sorrow awaits you Pharisees! For you love to sit in the seats of honor in the synagogues and receive respectful greetings as you walk in the marketplaces. ⁴⁴ Yes, what sorrow awaits you! For you are like hidden graves in a field. People walk over them without knowing the corruption they are stepping on.”
⁴⁵ “Teacher,” said an expert in religious law, “you have insulted us, too, in what you just said.”
⁴⁶ “Yes,” said Jesus, “what sorrow also awaits you experts in religious law! For you crush people with unbearable religious demands, and you never lift a finger to ease the burden. ⁴⁷ What sorrow awaits you! For you build monuments for the prophets your own ancestors killed long ago. ⁴⁸ But in fact, you stand as witnesses who agree with what your ancestors did. They killed the prophets, and you join in their crime by building the monuments! ⁴⁹ This is what God in his wisdom said about you:^[n] ‘I will send prophets and apostles to them, but they will kill some and persecute the others.’
⁵⁰ “As a result, this generation will be held responsible for the murder of all God’s prophets from the creation of the world— ⁵¹ from the murder of Abel to the murder of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, it will certainly be charged against this generation.
⁵² “What sorrow awaits you experts in religious law! For you remove the key to knowledge from the people. You don’t enter the Kingdom yourselves, and you prevent others from entering.”
⁵³ As Jesus was leaving, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees became hostile and tried to provoke him with many questions. ⁵⁴ They wanted to trap him into saying something they could use against him.

Why do we hold them to these standards? THEY DON'T HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE! They haven't even had an encounter with JESUS. They have never even met Him, and they certainly haven't made the decision to be a disciple of Christ. Why do we whisper to each about how horrible they are, and yet act like we have compassion to their faces? That is a travesty of the heart. We are actually keeping them from entering the Kingdom.

I for one fell into a trap for a year or so, not outwardly, but inwardly, of pride against other believers in the community. In my heart, I thought certain people were pharisees for professing to be Christians but listening to secular music. Yes it is so so important to keep what we hear pure because it effects our thoughts and our actions, but my gosh, I was judging their hearts!! I WAS THE PHARISEE in that story!! I still argue the point of listening to pure music, but I got sick of hearing people who I knew were hiding the fact that they listened to Lil Wayne and other horrible perverted sexually explicit music BASH those IN PUBLIC who listened to the likes of Taylor Swift and silly punk rock bands or coffee shoppe folk. I got sick. And then I got smart.

I'm choosing every day to live the life that I talk about. My husband and I both. We talk about helping people, we talk about loving people. So we're doing it. Every day. Sacrifice money, food, gas, "rest", for people. Why? Because people matter, no matter who they are, no matter what they're doing or where they've been. And I REFUSE to sit around and just talk about how people need to be loved and maybe one day I'll do it. I've been doing it, but now, I feel like I'm alive. I feel like I'm free. I feel like I'm out of slavery. Out of the fear of man, and into the glorious love of the Lord. There's no room for man pleasing.



My parents are such role models for me, in ever sense of the word. Hallelujah. THEY raised me in the Lord. They taught me about the Holy Spirit, they led me into the deep things of God, and set me on a path that I would get to know Him for myself- at a VERY VERY young age. They set the atmosphere in my home and made me LOVE Jesus, LOVE goodness, LOVE the things of the Lord, and to DESIRE to please God and not man, and led the way to the power of grace in my life. They taught me how to LOVE people. TRULY love them. To GET in people's dirt and that we're no better than anybody who has a stigma this world puts on them. They are some of the MOST humble people I know. They have the most sound personal doctrine out of anyone I know, and are REAL. My parents are REAL. Oh. and they were pastors of their own built-from-the-ground church for 10 years.
I saw them lead by example of LOVING people. I saw them sacrifice fancy technology, convenient appliances, nice cars, and their time and "precious" rest for people, to truly love them- and for us kids. I saw the Lord provide time after time after time for them. They were faithful and they knew how to love. HALLELUJAH. I thank the Lord for my parents, so much, and I am who I am today because of them and them listening to the Lord. They are the best parents I know. Haha. No really. I heard them pray for me. I heard their hearts. And I honestly am able to walk in the love that I have, the unexplainable love the Lord has given me for people that I truly cannot help, because of their example, I know how to use it.

*sigh*
How could I ever have thought, even as brief a period as it was, that I would want to "surpass" them and thought I could go "deeper"? How much deeper can you get than their humility, their love, their deep sacrifice for others? Oh Lord. Your Kingdom is so simple, its profound.

I'm so glad the Lord plucked me out just in time and reminded me what it's all about... even though I knew and still walked in that, the Lord revealed to me just how that prideful doctrine was influencing me. He had to root it out. I had no idea what had begin to develop in my insides. I thought I had escaped unscathed because I was able to get out. But He showed me, just how much my thinking had to change. About how the Lord sees me, about how I see myself. About the oppression I was under, constantly trying to please men. The slavery.

I had a dream on Dec. 31st about the underground railroad. I was being taken from slavery into the mansion of Susan B. Anthony. Yeah, crazy. (If you want to hear the full dream, message me or something, and I might tell you...) It has changed my life and the way I view the bondage that the kingdom of darkness is trying to entangle people in who think they're right with God. I'm still in my safe house, healing from my wounds, and changing my thinking from slave to daughter, changing my thinking from always afraid, to living in freedom and without fear. But now that I'm free, I can free others.

There's so much scripture and balance that can be discussed here, but I just flowed.

There's Strength In My Tears

Through the last couple days, I've experienced so many emotions.
I've been so excited about a few things going on in my life, and yesterday was the tip of the iceberg.
Then, it happened.
Most of you know I was in an accident yesterday. If you don't know the story, you can look it up on facebook on my wall. Or, I have it posted at the very end of this blog for those who don't.

I know I should rejoice that I'm okay, but really.. there's an oppression that comes over you when you get into your first accident that not many people understand. But my cousin did. See, it's just what the enemy needed to try and jolt me back into that spirit of fear. But I'm refusing. So very hard.

When someone flat out LIES, NOT BLAMES, but ACCUSES you of doing the VERY thing that THEY did to cause the accident, it just crushes you. I mean, he lied to police! But the whole time, my mom's voice was in my head... "Be sure your sins will find you out." Thank You Jesus for the witness.

But during that time, I began to wonder: Did it really happen that way? Maybe I didn't see him.. or maybe I'm going crazy!!
That's what the accusing spirit does. Its the same thing behind the lack of self esteem and the spirit most women are plagued with.. Not thinking they're beautiful.. (Read here, "I've Been Living a Lie") It's the same thing when people tell us things about us that are flat out lies, we begin to question our own character. When people wrong us over and over, especially Christians, and we just let it go and forgive them but they are STILL crushing you, and you're afraid to speak up because even THEY'VE built this facade of who they truly are and who they're showing the world to be... you begin to wonder if they've even so wronged you to begin with. Maybe you're just making a big deal about it in your heart.

It IS crazy.

My darling cousin Marina called me after I had texted her the story, and she prayed and she prayed and she prayed. It was so great. She could relate to every single emotion and attack that was going on.

I tossed and turned and tossed and turned all night in pain and in flashes of the accident.

Then I woke up to a text that sent me into another peace-wrecking moment.

But you know what?
Even today, there's strength in my tears. I will NOT believe these lies that try and get me to bow to the fear of man again. The way it is IS THE WAY IT IS, and I will not be convinced that people with absolutely NO character can push me back into that.

I'm done being pushed around. Even yesterday during the accident I showed so much strength and was silently yet strongly adamant about my innocence.

Its amazing to me how people who claim to read the Bible so much and claim to spend so much time with Jesus can have such a lack of character. I really don't understand it. It's something I'm still trying to process. I'm not talking about people having off days, or misunderstandings. I'm talking about people who are consistently, constantly rude, disrespectful, and arrogant. And for NO REASON! (as if there are any reasons to be...)

This is why people hate Christians to begin with, and its repulsive. At LEAST if you have given yourself the name, FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT! Gosh.

But anyway, today I am standing with a resolve in my spirit that may or may not be quiet today. We'll see. I will let Holy Spirit do the talking. Because I know where He's leading me and nobody has to answer for that but my husband and I.

A wholllle other blog on that to follow =)







What happened: I was at a stop sign coming out of the neighborhood market wal mart onto busy wickham rush hour traffic. Traffic was really bad so I waited for like, seriously, about 6 or 7 cars to go by that were perfectly spread to where I couldn't get in there.
I notice this red truck pulling up beside me and wonder what in the world he's doing, because he's halfway into the other lane (oncoming traffic turning INto wal mart) and i see that its clear now. But before I can even lift my foot from the break, he crunches into me.

I knew what he was trying to do. He was impatient because I was taking "too long" (15 seconds.)
Then he lied about it to police and said that HE was at the stop sign first and I had snuck past him on the RIGHT... (yeah because he normally goes into the LEFT lane when making a right turn... and its RIGHT ONLY!! there's only ONE lane!

The witness had left before I could get her number. I caught her talking to him and he was shaking his head "no" frustratedly because she was telling the truth! Anyway, she ,left, but she had called police first, so the police had her phone number on file. They called her and I got the all clear. Thank you Jesus You fight for meee! :-) That was 30 agonizing minutes. But at least we are OKAY and his insurance is paying for everything! Hallelujah!

Let it be love that plants the seed.

First Corinthians 13. Christian or not, I think most people know at least one verse to that portion of scripture. There's the part that says basically that without love, you're either annoying, are nothing/meaningless, or have nothing. There's the section that describes the characteristics of love. Then it talks about understanding, how love lasts forever/never fails, and love is the greatest of faith, hope, and love.

I love the last line. It pretty much sums up everything in the first section.
Faith, hope, and love last forever. They never go away. But the greatest is love.

Faith. It's a pretty lofty topic now adays. "Just have faith! And you'll be healed! You need more faith! We must increase our faith! We must have faith to declare the sick are healed! The dead are raised!" All that is well and good, but without love... YOUR FAITH IS NOTHING. Which means even if the person gets up out of their wheelchair and walks, if you don't have love, it means nothing. You can move the mountain of cancer without love. But without love, it is nothing.
Its such a hard concept to grasp because there's fruit. But just because there's fruit to our clouded eyes doesn't mean there's love.
Verses 10-12 take care of that.

Then there's hope. This is for all the dreamers like me out there. Whew. I'm a dreamer. Some of you used to dream that thousands would come and see the Lord. That they would be saved. That they would be restored and live a life of abundance and freedom. You wanted them to be saved because you LOVED them. But now you just want them to come. But when they come, what do you have to offer them now?
NOTHING. You've focused so much on getting them here that you now have no idea what to do with them when they arrive. And so they leave as quick as they came.
Your dreams have crumbled to the ground.
Without love, your hope is nothing.

Then there's love. When you love, guess what you get. love. When you love, guess what you spread. Love. When you love, guess what you get the keys to. EVERYTHING.
So you can either love and get everything. Or do all the other religious crap and have NOTHING, be NOTHING, do NOTHING, and love NO ONE.

It's so easy to say, "Well we should love. That should be our motivation. So, we need love to be our motivation."
I'm sick and tired of hearing people tell people that if we want to see people saved, our motivation needs to be love.
I know people mean good and well when they say that, and its no attack against anyone who ever says that. I've said it PLENTY. But its not something you can just say, "Oh! Ok sooooo from now on my motivation will be love. YAY!"
No. You'll know when you've arrived at love when you love without realizing it. It becomes a way of life. It inhabits everything you do. You smile. You're kind. You are patient. You don't envy. You don't boast. You don't have an attitude. You aren't easily angered. And even if you are, its your fault, so just bite your tongue and don't hold your own agression against someone who is just being innocent and being themselves and had no intentions whatsoever in their heart of making you frustrated. And YES, YOU WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. (Most of the time, LOL).

Love isn't something we can just decide that from now on we're gonna BE better at. We have to GROW better at it. And that's where many fail. We have to grow. We have to give lots and lots and lots of MERCY. BE MERCIFUL. Ask Jesus for His heart. He'll give it to you. Tell Him that you want to- want to love.
Do you actually care about the person in the checkout line? Do you actually care when you see someone hurting and not having the best day? Or do you go about your day? Do you get overly frustrated when that person that talks forever about their personal problems to you stops you when you have somewhere to be? DO YOU EVEN listen? Or do you let love win? Do you care? People need your love more than they need theology. Who cares what they've done. You are exactly LIKE THEM, even if they've "done" "worse" things than you (TO YOU.) You're exactly like them, but in a Jesus suit. He gave you that robe. You didn't purchase it. He gave it to you. Underneath you are exactly like them. I'm sick of the pompous. (This could go on forever so I'll save it for another post and another scripture lol)

Let your dreams rise out of you like a mountain and let the faith to see them happen flow down like a rushing creek.

And let it be love that plants the seed.

The Voice of the Lord

Hearing the Lord is a part of the foundation of everything we believe.
Hearing the voice of the Lord, in context, I think the best way to put it is to WEIGH the OPINION of the Lord.

Take some time to think back to everyone who specifically was directed by the Lord, in communion with Him. Noah, Abraham, Moses, David. Those are the big ones we all know. I could list WAY more. Then of course, there were the high priests of the temple who had specific communion with God, more than any common man could.
We look to those specific four stories for hope, for faith, and we mention their lives as evidence to the Lord's working in our lives, and the Lord's leading, guiding, and directing us. They are often lifted up on a pedestal of great uncommon faith.

Then there was Jesus. He had something different; something special at the time. He was in communion with the Father so much so that every single move was directed by the Father's voice. He could access the presence and the power of the ONE TRUE LIVING GOD, because He was HIM. It's mind blowing to think about the trinity in that regard, but that's for another day.

Jesus did nothing apart from the Father. (John 5). He had perfect communion with the Father. He was fully God yet fully man. With that being said, would we have thought He was a complete fake and flake because He said He heard the Father? The way we react today to the voice of the Lord shows us the answer.

Why is it that the choice for most Christians is to either be labeled a complete flake, weird, and unsound in the eyes of some Christian, OR just ignore the voice of God? I feel like many Christians judge others by their use of "God said".  I get it we are human. I get it that all of us can be flaky. I get it that we can be manipulative.  I get it that we can be perverted.  I get it that so so so many people abuse it. I get sick when I see that and I seriously passionately despise it.
But why is it considered flaky to try to hear the voice of the LORD and why are people so worried about it like its supposed to be an uncommon, "special" thing?

In the Old Testament, the Old Covenant, it was an uncommon, special thing. But when Jesus ripped that veil, anyone could see straight through to the Holy of Holies. HE made the way for us.
It was a common, completely constant thing for Jesus. It wasn't like the voice of the Father thundered down from heaven whenever He wanted to speak to Jesus about only the important things.
Their communion was consistent. It was common.

Would you have looked at Jesus and accused Him of "lacking accountability"? "lacking the earthly guidance to 'reign Him in'"? "Spiritually unbalanced so He must be extremely inaccurate and flaky"???

#1. Hearing the Word of the Lord should be a constant thing. Jesus proved it could be done.

#2. The way you keep people from being flaky and weird and 'unbiblical' is you disciple them. Not only that, but it comes with time.

I completely agree people should not be able to do whatever they want just because they label it "God". I am not saying ANY of that. I am simply saying, WHAT are we DOING with the OPINION of the Lord?? WHAT are we saying to those who are following behind us? How are we labeling those who have gone before us?
Why have we labeled the opinion of the Lord as weird if people "hear" all the time?

There has got to be accountability but let it be true accountability, not a restriction, a taboo on the opinion of the Lord. Let it be weighed, let it be put into perspective. If you know the Lord, You will see His opinion clearly. You'll realize what will make Him happy. You'll realize that He is ALWAYS speaking.

If we truly believe what we claim, what will we do about the opinion of the LORD?
Let yourself LISTEN to Him. The more you do, the more He will speak. The more you will know His voice. The less flakey you will become. THE MORE YOU'LL KNOW HIM.

I don't want to forsake His voice when the people that went before Jesus hardly had a chance at communion with the Father. THIS is WHAT WAS BOUGHT FOR US. Not just salvation from HELL. Communion, the voice of the Lord, His presence, etc.

WHAT will YOU do with the voice of the LORD?

Waiting to Hear What I'm Waiting For

I have to admit, there are some sounds of worship I wish I could just type on the internet and find and play through my house or through my headphones.
But when you start searching for what your heart is longing for online, you realize you've pretty much heard it all. There's a longing for more, for newness, that your spirit is just craving.
But that's where we come in. If you are in the same boat as me, and have any musical abilities, I know that God is calling on us to release a new sound that He can only put into our hearts.
Some of my greatest friends are the most musically talented.
My own mother is AN AMAZING worship leader and I am so thankful to have sat under her for as long as I have. My dad can SO belt it and I love hearing him sing with his strong yet gentle voice.
My brother is amazing at playing the piano sooo intricately and has this crazy passion that just runs through his fingers. Its so beautiful. And when he sings, its so pure!! HE JUST LOVES GOD!!
And then there's my dear Hannah Rene. She plays so beautifully and plays so... so like a daughter. Like a princess. And what she writes, its like deep heart wells. Its so cool. And its so easy for me to relate to her music, spiritually, emotionally... its so amazing.
And my Taylor Elaine.. she sings so beautifully. I don't even know if I've even told her how much I enjoy her singing. Its so pretty. =) Its the type of singing that I just enjoy. Its so heartfelt. And she can totally hold her note. Without even that much experience, and not that many lessons. SHE'S A NATURAL.

I could go on and on and on. My Melody with her POWERFUL voice for such a little girl. SO EXTREMELY TALENTED. Her voice is the type of voice that ROCKS THE WORLD.

And everyone I know, really. I mean I can't really mention all of you. But you all know who you are. Hilly and her songs with her style the Lord gave JUST for her, cause she's special. Lisa Marie and how she can hold a note and harmonies LIKE, INSANELY amazingly.. Austin. Andrew K. Josh D. Lisa P. Kels. Everyone. !!! <3

The things that you desire the most to hear out there in worship.. its yours to write.
The Heavenly Father has hidden it in you.
Dig into Him. Let Him stir things up in you. And when you feel it, WORSHIP.
When you are getting stirred and you don't know why, WORSHIP. and Record it.
When you have had a horrible day, WORSHIP. and record it.
When the best thing ever has happened to you in a day, WORSHIP. AND RECORD IT.

There are some things waiting to be released, and I know Josh and I are ready. We are ready to hear what He has to sing and play through us. And we're going after it. Its so rewarding, though. He touches you when you do that. Its kind of funny. You long to hear something new.. In a sense, you long to hear what only you can produce.
<3

So get ready for us to be releasing some music to you guys that has come straight out of times spent with Him and our hearts pouring out.
Love you guys,
Lauren

I've Been Living a Lie

(If you are going to read any of this, please read all the way through.. otherwise, it defeats the purpose. thanks! love you all.)



This past Sunday night I had a deep, deep revelation. It wasn't a deliverance by any means; its something I have to trust and keep trusting and push through even when I can't see. But I WAS changed.

I realized I had been living a lie. A lie I realized no human had ever told me. So who, I asked, ever told me this lie? I gasped. It had to have been the father of lies, satan himself.

It had to have been. No human has ever told me I am ugly. I just looked in the mirror and believed it. I knew it. I knew it.

Its one of those things where I said, well, I know I am not the best looking creature on the earth. I know I am mediocre, and I can deal with that. If I just accept it, at least I won't look like a doof. If I let people know that I KNOW that I am not that beautiful, then they'll know I'm not living a lie, believing a lie, thinking that I am oh-so-pretty when I am just average. I wanted everyone to know I KNEW I was just average. BUT I was living a lie!

And honestly, it may be partly due to the "world"'s standard of beauty. In fact, I am sure it is part of it. But its not because THEY know or hollywood knows what beauty is- its because they were all told the same lie. Its because our vision is MESSED up. Its because we do not know what beauty is. Its like we can't even see. THAT is the problem. Its not that what they say is beautiful is beautiful- its that WE. CAN'T. SEE.

When my eyes opened to this reality on Sunday night, it was so freeing but so so so sad. I realized I was BLIND. I can't see how He sees.

So this is what happened. My husband was singing some spontaneous songs with his guitar by himself up front on stage, and there were just a few people left, scattered in the room, sitting in His presence. He started singing about the sons and about rising up. Then he started singing about the daughters and what God is saying to us. And how God takes us and shows us off to His angels and shows us off to the elders and the creatures. Heavenly beings in awe of His creation, of these humans that have CHOSEN His love. And in that picture, I pictured Him leading me around and showing me off to them. Saying this is my daughter, isn't she beautiful? And in that moment, I felt like I was. Because I realized something:

HE MADE ME.

HE MADE ME!

HE MADE ME.

I said it to myself over and over again. It was like I was really realizing it for the first time. I said it and said it and said it again. HE. MADE. ME.!

My eyes were literally opened. I sat there and it was like a lightbulb moment. My head was down and as I kept saying it my eyes got wider and my head lifted little by little. I REALIZED IT.

AND I REALIZED HE MADE ME. AND IF I REALLY BELIEVE THAT I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT I AM BEAUTIFUL. AND WHILE MY NATURAL EYES MIGHT SEE ME AS LESS THAN AVERAGE LOOKING, THOSE STANDARDS ARE NOT REAL. THEY DO NOT EXIST. THEY DO NOT EXIST. I EXIST!!! THEY DO NOT!!!! They are made up!!! They are made up rules to the game of lies that satan loves to play with us. (when I say they do not exist, I do not mean they are not real issues we deal with, I just mean that they were not meant to exist from the beginning of time.)

THOSE STANDARDS ARE NOT REAL.

BEAUTY THIS WORLD SAYS IS BEAUTIFUL IS NOT REAL.

WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL.

And if I TRULY BELIEVE that HE is REAL, that the LIVING GOD IS REAL AND MADE THIS EARTH AND MADE MEEEE, then IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE UGLY. IT IS ABSOLUTELY 100% IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!

THIS LIE THAT SOME HUMANS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND SOME ARE UGLY IS FALSE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING!!!DON'T YOU GET IT? THIS STANDARD WAS MADE AFTER THE FALL. THIS STANDARD WAS MADE IN OUR OWN EYES. AND ITS ROOT IS THE LIES FROM SATAN THAT HAS SHAPED HISTORY AND SHAPED STANDARDS.

I can't make you have the same revelation as me. And its something I am still dealing with and processing in my head. I have to catch myself because I lived and believed this lie for so long I speak all these things and I realize that I have been speaking lies over myself. I have been questioning and questioning my beauty and all of it for what??? For WHAT?? I AM!! HE MADE ME AND I TRUST HIM AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE ANYTHING BUT BEAUTIFUL. And the way I look at other people has BEEN through this LIE!!! The way I judge others and their appearance has been through this lie. Oh wow she is so beautiful!! And ofhwow, she's so nice, but boy.. she's kinda homely.. :-( I will never look at people the same way again. NEVER. I AM WRONG. MY EYES ARE WRONG. I CANNOT SEE. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT BEAUTY IS!


I want to say so much more, but I fear I would just be stating the same things over again.

Its extremely hard to just post this as is because I just want to say it and say it and say it. HE.MADE. YOU. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?? DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE TRUE AND LIVING GOD?? DO YOU BELIEVE THE LAMB WAS SLAIN BEFORE THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD??



If you do, then you have to know.

YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

The every day awakening.

I have not written in a while.. God has done so many amazing things. I got married in March; I love being married, it is such an adventure.
I was reading some scripture today and I was in Galatians. On my way to Galatians, a few verses in Ephesians caught my eye. When I was done in Galatians, I went back and read the same few verses a few times over.

NLT:
Living by the Spirit’s Power
15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

This sample of scripture is so simple. But yet it awakens in the deepest parts of me. I'm really not sure why. But it is such a basic explaination of what we are supposed to do. It is so black and white, and it is to the point. And I love it. And there is joy in my heart reading this; there is joy in my heart doing these things. This scripture alone creates such a deep longing in my heart. If we could just be obedient and LIVE these 5 verses, how much unitity would we walk in, how much grace, how much passion and fire, oh how we would stop struggling and be IN HIM. Being obedient to these 5 verses means you desire to please Him. It also means that you are satisfied in Him. And you KNOW that that is where you get ALL your joy, ALL your peace, ALL your strength. You are desperate. But you've come to a place where it is the NORM. So its easy. It's easy to look at this passage of scripture and say, 'YES, I CAN DO THAT. YES, LORD. YES.' Because there is nothing else for you.

I just love it. "Don't act thoughtlessly, but UNDERSTAND what the LORD wants you to do."

Are we in that communion where He is constantly able to speak? Or do we have to be in some sort of special setting or mindset and ask? Yes it is good to ask the Lord what to do. But sometimes we have to UNDERSTAND. We have to come to a place where THe HOLY SPIRIT is so WELCOMED in us that He is always able to speak without any stifling.
This is just such a joyful piece of scripture to me. I don't really know what the point of this is, (do I ever? lol) but I definitely felt compelled to write about this scripture. I really don't have anything else to say about any other part of it, other than... it awakens me.

I encourage you to have an every day awakening. Get to that place. It could be the simplest thing. But be open to Him changing you ever day to His mindset. Awakening you to something you've never seen before. It's so simple. Yet it is such a treasure.

Thank you Jesus, for the every day awakening. I love seeing new sides of You. You are too good to me and my sometimes lack of consistency. You pour out Your wisdom to me even when I don't deserve it. You are always with me, You are always speaking. You are always guiding me, and I see You. I follow You. Thank You for always having something to say to me. Thank You for awakening my heart to always understand You in every situation. To always be aware of You.